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Steve Sherlock

Felix, would that divorce be as easy as the word itself makes it sound. Say "di-vorce" outloud and you can hear the separation. It sounds definite and final, yet in real life, as you indicate, and I have seen, it is not. Life is far more complicated than the legal arrangements can deal with when at least one party is not happy with the arrangement.

when the snowball melts, all get wet.

Felix Gerena

I think that is the point here. the fact that a conflict goes beyond regulations and that it has to be faced in an intelligent manner.

Trevor Gay

Great post Felix and excellent comments Steve

I was divorced as you both know. This was after many years of unhappiness in a marriage that was not underpinned by love.

Nevertheless my 3 children were and still are of paramount importance and during my unhappy marriage I would sacrifice anything for them. Of course parents have careers and responsibilities to themselves but they have greater responsibility to their children in my view. We cannot be selfish when children are involved.

You highlight a great example Felix of a snowball effect and this is what happens when adults (with the best intentions) act in their own interests rather than their children’s interest. This is a very sad but unfortunately not untypical one here in the UK and a real moral dilemma.

As a Christian I pray the situation you describe will resolve itself Felix in the interests of all parties. Thank you once more for raising such a fabulous topic Amigo.

jen_chan, writer SureFireWealth.com

When you say to deal with the problem at each level, would it be better to start at the bottom and eventually make your way to the top or at the core of the problem and wait until the sub-conflicts melt away? Where should the deconstruction begin?

Felix Gerena

Chen, thanks for your intelligent comment. Definitely, the is the most desirable solution. Though in the case I was telling, at least one of the parents preferred to keep scalating the problem. The alternative you tell could be applied only in the case both agreed on the limits of their respective actions. For example, by coming to terms on the fact that damage made to one of them is negative for the stability of the child.


loved the way you explained things. Much better many here

Harris Silverman

In response to Jen Chan's comment, I think you have to start at the core, since the other issues cascade from that. The key issue here is that an agreement exists, but it is not being respected. Once it is, the other issues will be resolved.

Harris Silverman

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Very good post I must say.. Simple but yet informative and interesting.. thanks

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